Re-Nudging: Re-connect with a mentor + An invitation for Guest Nudgers

Dear Nudger, This was one of the most popular Nudges from our last round, and I heard from several readers that it motivated them to reach out to their mentors. If you missed it last summer, maybe this is a Nudge you’ll add to your own list for the upcoming months.

I loved all the different voices we heard from in round #3. I learned from their perspectives, I was inspired and motivated by their stories. This week I’m reaching out to potential contributors for round #4, and–will you? If you’re even the tiniest bit interested, please get it touch. —Kathleen

Re-Connect with a Mentor by Kelly Mishell, Guest Nudger (originally posted July 22, 2022)

Since I’m a first-time guest “Nudger,” Kathleen graciously offered a handful of possible ideas. Many sounded fun, but “Re-Connect with a Mentor” immediately conjured up intrigue—as well as a bit of nervousness and resistance in my body. That was my sign. This one will stretch me out of my comfort zone…and that’s the point, right?

I knew exactly who this mentor would be. I’d been thinking about reconnecting with Mr. Bell for years, but had put it off several times. He was my high school drama teacher in the early 1980s and a true mentor in my life. It was his influence and belief in me that opened my eyes to the idea of pursuing a professional acting career (which I did for nearly 20 years).

My resistance to contacting him surprised me because he was a very kind, approachable man. After some assessment, I came to the conclusion that this was a combination of guilt that I lost touch in the first place and my fear that the re-connection wouldn’t meet either of our expectations. I mean, he had so many students before and after me. Was I as special in his life as he was in mine? Would he care about seeing me?

Well…here’s the opportunity to overcome my negative mental chatter, check this off the bucket list, and, hopefully, visit with my 84-year-old mentor while I still can.

What Happened: I felt myself procrastinating, then the sudden death of someone from my past heightened the Nudge. Clearly, we don’t have forever with anyone. What the heck am I waiting for?! So, I stepped up, wrote the message, and hit “Send” without even stopping to think about it. Mr. Bell responded right away saying he’d be delighted to talk with me. HURRAY!! I felt relieved and was oh-so-excited to connect.

When we got on Zoom, it was just like old times, even though it had been more than 30 years since we’d spoken. But he remembered so much, like a particular scene I had done in drama class and a line I’d sung in the musical Pippin. Wow, and I thought he might not remember me at all!!  

It felt tremendous to reminisce and convey my gratitude for all he’d done for me. I intently listened as he expressed his joy for teaching, his love of his life, and the people who have contributed to it. We discussed his adoration for the Detroit Tigers and the Los Angeles Lakers. (I didn’t tell him I converted to the L.A. Clippers when I got married. But he’s cool. I think we’d be friends anyway.)

We laughed a lot and made a plan to have lunch the next time I am in my hometown. As we said goodbye, he signed off with “Love you.” I instinctively responded with, “I love you, too.” And that was all we needed to say.

The Ah-Hahs: Taking action on this Nudge was so much easier than I made it out to be in my head. In hindsight, all those years I let go by without being in touch seem wasteful. This experience has anchored in the notion of how our negative inner talk can truly get in the way of outstanding life experiences. It struck me how much Mr. Bell has been, and continues to be, a gift in my life. I’m determined to not let this connection go by the wayside again. We said we’d stay in touch, and I will make it a point. No resistance. No regrets. Just do it.

Kelly has recently shifted her business to focus more on energy healing, and she is currently offering complimentary introductory sessions—which are done remotely. I’ve worked with her and the benefits for me included feeling more rested, grounded, and centered. If you are interested, visit her website, contact her if you’d like more info, or nudge yourself to schedule a healing session via her online calendar.