Nudged: Read through an old journal

This Nudge is inspired by my ongoing efforts to declutter (letters, papers, decades of work notes), as well as ongoing deep dives into who I have been and who I might want to become. Many of my original Nudges came from thinking back on activities I enjoyed doing as a kid and young adult (creating chalk drawings, baking, dancing around the house, learning foreign languages). Nudges give me opportunities to try them again, to see if I still enjoy them, and decide if there’s more I want to do with them.

I suspect what I read this week will be cringy, since I know much of my early journaling—which dates back to third grade!—featured pining for boys, venting angst, and sorting out dramatic dilemmas of my own making. There have also been sweet surprises in these old books, such as long-buried memories with loved ones who have passed.

If you haven’t kept journals, perhaps this is the week you go through old scrapbooks, school yearbooks, or desktop folders of digital photos. See what you are ready to let go, share, or treasure. If you find something special, I hope you’ll share a bit of your story in Comments.

What Happened: I’ve been slowly making my way through a box of random cards and letters, and a journal was tucked off to the side. At first glance, I thought it was full of prompts and story ideas from a writing retreat, but then I noticed the year and flipped forward to about the halfway point. There was every detail of Thor’s proposal. Just typing this now, I feel all warm and fuzzy, and I have a smile on my face. Keeping those pages! What a find!

I skimmed and shredded most of the rest (still have a ways to go to finish), then stopped when the heading “Body of Work” caught my attention. It appears to have been a writing prompt, but instead of creating a scene for a future story, I went down a personal path with this:

I’m reaching the point in my life when I’m starting to think it’s too late for me to make a significant contribution to the world, in this lifetime. Jack London was dead at 40. Hemingway was dead in his 50s. Is it enough for me to live a “good” life?

The Ah-Hahs: A few things about this are stunning to me. First, I wrote the above over a decade ago. I really thought I might be done back then? Oh, girl, you had no clue! Since then, I met and married The Love of My Life and found Home. I created 52Nudges. I wrote and published a memoir that has inspired deep conversations and helped readers work through tough losses and choices.

Second, that memoir did not start out as a memoir. It started as a journal, in which I wrote to try to work my way through tough losses and choices.

What I read in this recently uncovered journal inspires me to stay open to what’s to come. I am indeed living a good life—and I’m so not done yet!