Nudged: Re-connect with a mentor

By Kelly Mishell, Guest Nudger

I was so pleased and excited when Kelly Mishell agreed to be a Guest Nudger. She is thoughtful, insightful, creative, and fun, and I know I will learn something deep from her this week. I hope you feel inspired to pursue this special nudge too! — Kathleen

Since I’m a first-time guest “Nudger,” Kathleen graciously offered a handful of possible ideas. Many sounded fun, but “Re-Connect with a Mentor” immediately conjured up intrigue—as well as a bit of nervousness and resistance in my body. That was my sign. This one will stretch me out of my comfort zone…and that’s the point, right?

I knew exactly who this mentor would be. I’d been thinking about reconnecting with Mr. Bell for years, but had put it off several times. He was my high school drama teacher in the early 1980s and a true mentor in my life. It was his influence and belief in me that opened my eyes to the idea of pursuing a professional acting career (which I did for nearly 20 years).

My resistance to contacting him surprised me because he was a very kind, approachable man. After some assessment, I came to the conclusion that this was a combination of guilt that I lost touch in the first place and my fear that the re-connection wouldn’t meet either of our expectations. I mean, he had so many students before and after me. Was I as special in his life as he was in mine? Would he care about seeing me?

Well…here’s the opportunity to overcome my negative mental chatter, check this off the bucket list, and, hopefully, visit with my 84-year-old mentor while I still can.

What Happened: I felt myself procrastinating, then the sudden death of someone from my past heightened the Nudge. Clearly, we don’t have forever with anyone. What the heck am I waiting for?! So, I stepped up, wrote the message, and hit “Send” without even stopping to think about it. Mr. Bell responded right away saying he’d be delighted to talk with me. HURRAY!! I felt relieved and was oh-so-excited to connect.

When we got on Zoom, it was just like old times, even though it had been more than 30 years since we’d spoken. But he remembered so much, like a particular scene I had done in drama class and a line I’d sung in the musical Pippin. Wow, and I thought he might not remember me at all!!  

It felt tremendous to reminisce and convey my gratitude for all he’d done for me. I intently listened as he expressed his joy for teaching, his love of his life, and the people who have contributed to it. We discussed his adoration for the Detroit Tigers and the Los Angeles Lakers. (I didn’t tell him I converted to the L.A. Clippers when I got married. But he’s cool. I think we’d be friends anyway.)

We laughed a lot and made a plan to have lunch the next time I am in my hometown. As we said goodbye, he signed off with “Love you.” I instinctively responded with, “I love you, too.” And that was all we needed to say.

The Ah-Hahs: Taking action on this Nudge was so much easier than I made it out to be in my head. In hindsight, all those years I let go by without being in touch seem wasteful. This experience has anchored in the notion of how our negative inner talk can truly get in the way of outstanding life experiences. It struck me how much Mr. Bell has been, and continues to be, a gift in my life. I’m determined to not let this connection go by the wayside again. We said we’d stay in touch, and I will make it a point. No resistance. No regrets. Just do it.

P.S. Next Tuesday, July 26, is “National All or Nothing Day”—yes, it’s a real thing! I’m going to take this opportunity to promote something that helps me dive into big days: Kelly’s Empowered Mind Affirmation Cards.

“I based this deck on a Universal truth: that your thoughts create your life experience,” Kelly says. So each morning, I flip to a new card and begin my day with a self-affirming statement. See if this is something that can help you. (And please note I am not getting any kind of consideration or kickback on this.)