Nudged: Invite a potential friend out for a “date”

Maybe it’s all the isolation from COVID, or just the fact that so many of my closest friends live far away. I need new girlfriends. I need someone with whom I can pick up the phone and be spontaneous. And it takes time to find the right matches and nurture these relationships.

But it feels like dating (ugh), and it’s scary and hard! So…I’m nudging myself to make the first move.

What Happened: One of my doctors is super fun. We have great chats when I go in for checkups, and I’ve often thought, if we had met under different circumstances, we would be friends.

I don’t have her personal info, so figuring out how to contact her was interesting. I didn’t want to leave a message on her office voicemail or email, something her staff would screen. Instead, I sent her a handwritten note, marked “Personal,” which basically said what I wrote above then said I’d love the opportunity to get better acquainted, maybe over coffee or lunch.

Honestly, this felt a little icky. But I reminded myself of a conversation I had with a friend years ago, a friend who is a pastor. He shared with me how people put him on kind of a pedestal and were intimidated about inviting him to social gatherings. It was like they thought he was too pious to enjoy it or worried he would be judging them. He’s human too, and he was lonely! With him, I was able to separate the person from the profession, and we became good friends, and I followed up by building friendships with other pastors in my life.

So….I hope my doc accepts my invitation.

Ah-hah: As I write this, I haven’t yet had a response to my note, and I’ve been feeling like a nerdy, needy middle schooler: “Why doesn’t she like me?! What’s wrong with me?!” I admit there was a small part of me that hoped for an immediate and enthusiastic YES!

I’m going to have to be okay with the wait. I’m mostly proud of myself for going waaaay outside my comfort zone and making the ask. Because nothing would happen if I didn’t first ask, and it feels empowering to have taken the first steps.

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